The Money Conversations I Never Learned to Have
by Priyanka Pardasani, Contributor
I’ll be the first to admit—my family dynamic isn’t always easy.
I’m the only daughter in a family where being financially independent and confident wasn’t exactly encouraged.
That’s shaped my relationship with money in ways I’m still unpacking.
And I know I’m not alone.
Every family handles money differently.
How we’re taught often comes from culture, tradition, or the financial realities we grow up in.
In my case, I grew up in a first-generation Indian-American immigrant family where money was unpredictable.
That made self-education around financial literacy crucial—and it’s one of the reasons I’m helping build Simmer.
But, even now, after all I’ve learned, one of the hardest parts hasn’t been budgeting or saving—it’s talking to my family about money.
So I want to share three things I’ve struggled with most, in case you’re navigating some of this too.
Helping My Parents Without Hurting My Future
For many of us, having aging parents means increasing emotional—and often financial—responsibilities.
Building Simmer is a long game. It’s meaningful work, but it also means taking short-term financial risks.
That’s where things get complicated.
In my culture, women haven’t historically been expected to support their parents financially—sons usually take on that role.
But I believe in equality, and I want to contribute.
And yet, not being able to live up to that vision of myself has been brutal.
I haven’t had a full conversation about it—and that silence creates tension.
What I’ve come to understand:
I can only be honest about what I’m realistically able to give.
At the end of the day, putting myself at financial risk to support someone who’s doing okay doesn’t make sense.
Learning How to Accept Help
I grew up in an environment where women weren’t often expected to make major financial decisions on behalf of their families.
Even today, most decisions are made by men—and that’s widely accepted as normal.
That legacy shaped my mom’s experience too.
She moved to the U.S. in the 1970s and didn’t have the kind of financial freedom I do now.
The liberty I have is thrilling—but I’ve mismanaged money and had to ask for help.
That part was hard.
As the first woman navigating this kind of financial independence in my family, I've had to learn how to show myself grace when I don't show up "perfectly."
I’m unlearning limiting financial beliefs and habits—and that takes time, effort, and a few mess-ups.
But the more I’ve embraced that, the easier it’s become to talk about it.
I’ve had vulnerable conversations with friends and family about my mistakes, and I’ve learned how to ask for help.
If you have the privilege to ask for help without strings attached, I hope you give yourself that permission too.
Speaking About Money in General
Talking about money can often feel taboo.
I don’t earn nearly as much as my siblings, and bringing up my work or finances makes getting a root canal sound like a better option!
But over time, I’ve found a few people I can talk to with more honesty—and it’s been incredibly healing.
Those conversations have helped me understand my family’s patterns, and how I can use those insights to make more intentional choices of my own.
Opening up to people who help us feel safe and supported creates a non-judgmental space.
It’s how we move past self-blame—and start building healthier habits.
One moment that really stuck with me was when I told my great aunt I wanted to start a business.
She shared that my maternal grandfather never panicked when money was tight.
That story helped me build resilience around risk-taking.
I felt like I was honoring his legacy by choosing confidence over fear.
That conversation continues to shape the work I do at Simmer.
Our team knows first-hand how powerful it is to learn from a place of strength and self-compassion—and that’s exactly the kind of space we’re creating for our users to thrive.
Families and money can be a tricky combination.
But with insight, courage, and self-belief, it’s absolutely possible to navigate the hard stuff—and build a more confident, financially healthy future.
Want more real-life support as you build your financial confidence?
Join the SIMMER waitlist and keep learning—judgment-free.
